Waiting for words that didn't come
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esperando em vão, que lhe dissesse o que queria.
waiting in vain for him to say what he wanted.
waiting in vain for him to say what he wanted.
Her paralysis has a small, poignant logic to it: she waits. 'Esperando em vão, que lhe dissesse o que queria' — waiting in vain for him to say what he wanted. She takes his claim at face value — he said he had something to tell her — and so she stands, obediently, expecting words, giving him the benefit of the doubt her position all but requires. The 'em vão', in vain, is the quiet knife: the words never come, because there were none; the only thing he 'wanted' was the looking itself, and perhaps what the looking is building toward. Her patient waiting for an explanation that does not exist measures the gap between them exactly — she is still inside the fiction of a normal exchange, a servant awaiting an instruction, while he has already left that fiction behind for pure appetite. She is being decent in a situation that has stopped being decent, and does not yet know it.
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